The integration process since working with Shamans and plant medicines in Peru has left me depleted, more so than expected. There have been revelations, peeling back layers of depression and anxiety, as well as revealing my resistance to change, fear of change and success, etc. Since some of the clouds have lifted I’ve been able to work on my next blog update, describing my second Ayahuasca Ceremony. In the meantime, if you’d like to catch up with my journey, click here, here, here, and here.
To anyone who thinks Ayahuasca is simply an acid trip where you witness a sparkly light show, let me assure you the process before, during and after takes much thought and effort. For example, one must prepare at least two weeks before traveling by following a specified diet (removing specific foods and medications that may cancel out the benefits of Ayahuasca or cause adverse reactions), not to mention packing properly for jungle life.
When you’ve set your intentions and consume Ayahuasca it takes energy to find stillness – especially if you’ve lived with chronic fight or flight – and to face what can be revealed, from overwhelming beauty to great sorrow. Being vulnerable in front of strangers and opening your heart takes courage and is far from easy, especially if you’ve built walls to survive past trauma(s).
One final example of how much work is involved once you’ve decided to experience Ayahuasca is the incredibly important process of Integration. What you observe through ceremony means nothing if you simply return to your old ways, a life filled with the very things and people that brought on the calling to plant medicines in the first place.
It has been three months and I am still processing daily, even as I dream. And through meditation and dream recall I can analyze my subconscious fears, thoughts and desires. Work, work, work just to be comfortable in your own skin. Realize what you seek outside of you is already within you! See you next time <3