Sorry Jiu-Jitsu: It’s not You, it’s Me

I had this fantasy before heading to the jungle that when I returned from working with plant medicines my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu game would improve. For example, the calmness of mind I might obtain would increase the chances of me entering a flow state during rolls; I would no longer overthink to the point of slowing down […]

The [Recurring] American Dream

So there’s one type of recurring dream where I’m stressing over a class assignment or a missed deadline at work. These dreams are always followed by waking moments of sadness, guilt and shame, which then invite a barrage of negative thought patterns including regrets over the course my life has taken. This destructive mind chatter […]

Do You Have a Black Belt in Self-Sabotage?

I for one have mastered the art of getting in my own way. I wasn’t born with this gift. But I wonder if self-sabotaging traits can be re-gifted through DNA, learned by example in the home, or if it takes both nature and nurture. I’ve heard that we are the average of the people we […]

Here’s to Freedom

These words are my truth, my memories, but only part of my story. If they are too painful then you have the choice to ignore, deny or deflect them. Another choice is to pause, breathe, sit with the pain, and then forgive. But do not forgive me. Forgive your mother and father and their mothers […]

The Integration Process Post Ayahuasca

The integration process since working with Shamans and plant medicines in Peru has left me depleted, more so than expected. There have been revelations, peeling back layers of depression and anxiety, as well as revealing my resistance to change, fear of change and success, etc. Since some of the clouds have lifted I’ve been able […]